Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Molly Horan. Yet, when people talk about "losing your virginity" as a sexual right of passage, it's almost always discussed in heteronormative terms: A woman gets her cherry "popped" via male penetration, and suddenly, neither of them are virgins anymore.
It should come as no surprise to Broadly readers that most of the world is organized around men. A man, Jacques Derrida, even created the word to express the idea: phallogocentrism. In short, the phallus defines the world, and for millennia it has defined sex. The insertion of a penis into a woman has been the defining line between virginity and its absence. How then, could two women—neither of whom happen to posses a penis—lose their virginity?
My friends and I were talking about when we lost our virginities recently, and I said, without thinking, "15". It's when I first had sex, after all. But I wasn't expecting the follow up question — was it with a girl or guy?